El Conquistador Resort

I stayed at the resort March 9th-11th. The resort is on a beautiful piece of property which is why it has a few stars to this rating. I’ve highlighted below my takeaways for others to consider before booking.

Palomino Island - 4/5
The island itself is beautiful so had to rate separately, but the ferry ride to and from the island I would give a negative 5 on that.

Ferry to Palomino Island - 0/5
Recommend having more ferry boats over to the island and back. One was running at the time and we wasted three hours in total waiting for the ferry. Not something I recommend. Beach is beautiful, but the ferry schedule needs major work.

There also was some group that got off a bus that got to go before guests on the ferry which caused an uproar rightfully so since some guests didn’t make the ferry due to those individuals cutting the line. It was all around not a good experience. There are plenty of beautiful beaches in Puerto Rico with a lot less headache to see. I recommend you go see the other beaches and not spend half your day wasted on waiting around for a ferry.

Coqui water park - 4/5
Water park features a small lazy river which was the best part in my opinion, but be prepared to bump into everyone along the lazy river. Water slides were also fun and you have three options. Was a beautiful spot to spend the day at the pool. Can see this being a major win with families due to variety and plenty of pool space as well.

Cutz Steakhouse - 5/5
Meal was amazing and drinks were spot on. Atmosphere is what you’d be expecting for this type of resort. Highly recommend.

Sicilia - 4/5
Meal was great and drinks were okay. More of a family spot which was fine, but the atmosphere needs some updating. Seemed off to me from the moment I sat down.

Brapanta Bar - 3/5
We ended up stumbling upon this bar which ended up being good drinks, but odd service. Wait staff didn’t come around so I went up to order and when I did they said they’d be over to the table. After they eventually came over it was a better experience, but wouldn’t be my first go to.

BallyHoo - 5/5
The second night we stopped here for a drink as our end cap which was great drinks and a beautiful spot. We were happy we found this spot the second day when sitting for our long ferry ride.

Hotel rooms - 3/5
My hotel room was updated and we had a beautiful view. I will say we had so much noise outside our room at all hours of the night. I actually sent an email that night complaining to ensure future guests get told this room is very loud. I am a light sleeper so the 12am screaming from fellow quests was a little much. I get having a good time out, but when everyone is walking by your room being towards the start of the building you hear it all. Would recommend staff have selections for individuals who are light sleepers from someone who was up two nights in a row to constant loud talking and screaming.

I also would recommend looking at the Las Casitas Village as we didn’t look at that as an option and regret not picking a more secluded area.

Casablanca - 1/5
I’m sure it’s a beautiful bar, but opening at 9pm is a little late for someone who likes to go to bed at a decent hour. I was very disappointed in the late hour opening and was hoping at least 7pm to enjoy a drink at this establishment. I never got to enjoy a drink there which was sad because it was on my top things to do at the resort. My recommendation is changing the hours of the bar.

The first night we stayed we found ourselves not able to enjoy a drink anywhere. The outdoor bar was full and no bartender was to be found at the bar upstairs.

When you are staying at a “luxury” hotel you expect more than what was presented during our trip. I had thought about staying here for my upcoming honeymoon and I’m glad we visited before making that decision. I wouldn’t run back here, but I hope with some more years of work I will visit to a different and improved El Conquistador.

Yahaira really stood out. Our stay at the Conquistador was pleasant. Yahaira was welcoming, and knowledgeable. The Coqui Water Park was an awesome time for the entire family! Thank you Conquistador Resort and thank you Yahaira for putting forth your best effort at every encounter. We loved it!

Facility is massive. For as big and expensive it is the service is so deathly slow and expensive you should just get a small hotel in the village where the food is affordable and the service is good.

Francisco was amazing. Best service we have received.

This is strictly a review of our experience at Bono restaurant. Our overall rating for the resort would be 3.5/5 stars, but our experience at Bono with our server, Osbel, was truly exceptional. It was my 40th birthday, and we were looking forward to dining at one of the nicer restaurants on the resort property.
He made great recommendations, timed out food nicely, and sang happy birthday to me. It was an unforgettable dining experience. He is warm, professional, and truly a lovely human being who made us feel so special and well-cared-for. The food was overall delicious. But Osbel was truly the star. I would rate the overall rating lower due to the situation I will describe below, but I do not want to take away from the 5 star service he provided.

I do want to note one unfortunate part of our evening. We called concierge for over an hour trying to make a reservation. Turns out we did not need one, but I do wish I had the option to call the restaurant directly. When we arrived at the restaurant, it was empty, and there was a hostess and a very bald server standing at the front. I told the hostess we tried to make a reservation but were not able to. The other server spoke in Spanish to the hostess, and she asked if we want to see a menu. I told her that was not necessary, we would like to dine there. The very bald server said something to her again and then cut himself off and said to us "it is very expensive." We assured him we still would like to dine there. But we were shocked at his forthrightness. Thankfully, he was not our server, and we had a wonderful meal with Osbel. But it was a shame this other staff member tried to deter us based on price.

We stayed at the resort and ordered groceries from Walmart so that our kids couple have snacks while they enjoyed their stay. Instead the security, front desk and bell staff all said they would not allow the driver to come past the gait. By the time we tried to get it handled, the lady had to leave and my groceries were canceled. I understand why they would not allow this, however it’s not clearly stated anywhere in your booking or website. Then because you’re forced to spend a lot of money to buy their food, they don’t have enough breakfast spots (they have 2), so you stand in line for 40 minutes waiting for a muffin.
They also harassed my 8 year old son regarding his height repeatedly. He’s 48” and he was measured repeatedly and not allowed down until the manager came. Why wouldn’t they just give him a wrist band so they didn’t keep doing this?! They said they couldn’t give a band.

We got locked out of our room. The bands just turned off prior to our late check out that they confirmed twice.
They nickel and dime you, they put up volley ball nets at the island beach but you have to buy your own ball.
No one ever apologizes.
No one asked how our stay was.
The boat broke down to get back from the island so we had to wait another 30 minutes.
Water park restaurant didn’t open for lunch on time (11am) employee sent me to a different option which didn’t open until 1 pm.
At 550am there was a truck backing up outside our room, beeping.
Multiple other guests said they have had issues too.

Angel the Bar tender at El Conquistador resort was very personable and provided great service. He made a great impression on our first day on resort.
Gave us lots of great recommendations as well.

Great bar experience with Angel!

I really wanted to love this place and I wouldn't say were are that picky. Based on looks alone, everything is perfect. However, our stay was way more stressful than necessary. Did not sleep well because it's just one of those places where you aren't sure if you can get basic needs met or that anyone even cares.

I could go into more detail but basically lots of waiting in line, no one available to help, learning curve to learn how everything works because no one tells you. Took about 30 minutes just to get a drink at the pool bar. They tried to give us the wrong room and we had to argue to get what we actually booked. 90 minute wait for most restaurants in the evening. I have to laugh now because at one point all of us were crying in the hotel room because we were so stressed, hungry, and exhausted from having to figure everything out.

We went during Presidents day week when lots of schools in the northeast are off, so maybe if you go at a non-peak time it's better. WAY understaffed. Later on our trip we went to the Marriott Stellaris in San Juan and the service was incredible there. Night and day.

I do have to say the food was good at Ballyhoo and we had great service there. However most of the food elsewhere is just ok and overpriced.

Tours: we enjoyed the rainforest tour with H and J and also the El Yunque Zipline tour.

In summary, proceed with caution: know what to expect and try to learn the rules ahead of times (like how to actually make dinner reservations, how the ferry works, plan for long lines at funicular and front desk), and don't go during peak times.

Francheska Hernandez and her amazing team at Coqui Water Park did an outstanding job ensuring everyone’s safety. The lifeguards are attentive and on top of everything, and the entire staff is friendly, respectful, and extremely knowledgeable.

They went above and beyond to help us celebrate our son’s birthday and were incredibly accommodating of my mom’s needs in her wheelchair. We can’t wait to go back! Thank you all for such a wonderful experience! We all had a blast!

Great experience, the watepark staff was really good. There Manager Francheska Hernandez and his supervisor Jean Mendez are very great and very kind. Amazing staff you have in the water park.

El Conquistador has many good things to offer -- a water park for children, lots of restaurants, a beautiful view, several pools, game rooms, etc. However, my family's experience there was negatively impacted by the fact that there was loud music blasting everywhere much of the time. For example, it was impossible to sit and read a book, while lounging and watching the kids play in the water park, because the music was so incredibly loud. Another problem was that they were so understaffed that it sometimes took over an hour to get a pizza. It is true that we did go at a busy time, Feb school vacation week -- but there were long lines for everything. For example, there is a ferry to a lovely little island with a beach. The line for the ferry was brutal, and, if you didn't make the cut, you had to wait another hour for the next ferry. (Is it just me, or is it weird to be at a resort in Puerto Rico that has no beach on its property??) Finally, our room on the marina level was very inconvenient. In order to get to the main area of the resort, you had to go on a funicular! Then you had to walk down a hall and go on an elevator. It wasn't easy or convenient with children. That said, we did have a good time overall, but would be unlikely to stay there again.

This resort functions like a nightclub 24/7. There is music blasting at the pool, the waterpark, the beach, the lounge and every restaurant all the time—there is no escape from oppressive noise. Our room was in the marina area between the line for the boat to the island, the Ballyhoo restaurant, and on the other side was the Furnicular. Every day there were steel drums playing between 4:30-6:30pm playing at full volume for the boat arrivals, so we couldn’t rest in our room before dinner after being in loud spaces all day with our kids. The resort calls it “Music Entertainment” but it is more like a “Music Migraine” and it is completely not necessary. In fact, the experience would have been way better without it even though this place has other big problems…

There are long lines everywhere. For example, if you do not make dinner reservations for every night, then good luck getting dinner. On our first night it took about an hour and a half to get service and this is not easy with little kids. There is no daily option for a good breakfast in the marina area. There is a small market with coffee and pastries but the line usually takes an hour because of the line to get to the island. If you want to go to Palomino Island at 9, the line starts at 8am and gets long until about 1PM. My idea of vacation is not standing in long lines to do everything, including getting a coffee. My husband and I ended up spending a half day of our trip taking an Uber to a grocery store to get fruit, breakfast supplies, and snacks for our room once we realized how difficult it was to have a proper meal that wasn’t frozen, sugar filled junk. We also ordered meals an hour before we were hungry because that was on average how long service would take.

Lastly, we were traveling with my elderly mother and having to go up and down the Furnicular multiple times a day, walk a long path, and then go up another elevator to get to the main pool and lobby area took about 20 minutes each way and there were often lines at the Furnicular and the elevator. Our room location made everything harder. We will never go back here and I wouldn’t recommend it to anyone.

Our favorite memory was walking out of the resort on the service road, having dinner at a local restaurant, and doing the bioluminescence bay night kayak tour!

The property is nice but there is no service because it is too crowded, and not enough staff or amenities to accommodate. It feels like a cruise ship that forgot to prepare for the amount of people. Must be thousands, yet only 1 person on the entire earth has the capability to make dinner reservations (completely pen and paper system) which were a must if you didn't want to wait hours. We had to leave the resort to relax and actually be on vacation. When it was time to return we joked "time to go fight for basic needs to be met at... El conquistador."

Bartenders ignore you, food prices somehow rise in between ordering from the menu and receiving the bill, the ferry won't return for another hour even though they couldn't fit everyone who was waiting for 30 minutes....

The warning signs were there starting at check in. They put us in a room type that we didn't reserve and couldn't sleep all of us but didn't tell us this, leaving us to find out after the 30 minute trek to the room. Then they pressured and argued us to accept it due to "availability". You get what you get. We called back to get someone else to argue with and we must have finally won that battle because they found a room that had enough beds for us and we had to move. At that point we had no idea the battles that were to come for mass produced overpriced food...

All the staff were wonderful just not enough of them for busy restaurant times. Check in check out super easy and staff were helpful. Food… overpriced and not great. Taco spot was the best one but we ate off property after day 2. Many great local options nearby. Always nice to support the locals! Ferry service to the beach was slow and only ran every hour. Plan to wait 45 minutes during the busy times. Miniboats are a must! So fun and great way to get to some nice private islands. Coffee is hard to get in the am plan ahead bc the line takes forever. Overall a great resort and will come back but disappointed in the food and overpriced menus. Rooms were great except be warned of the birds who start making noise early it feels like you’re sleeping in the jungle with all windows and doors shut. Part of being in a beautiful location, but it was very loud at 6 am. The tour desk ppl were wonderful book some activities off property after. The rainforest is close and horseback riding was great.

We arrived and got in line for check-in and there’s about five people in front of me and it took one hour and 45 minutes to check in. It was a complete crap show from the beginning. Our room was not clean. The line for coffee is astronomical. We then wanted to just get pizza later and it was an hour wait and my husband put our name on the list in an hour later we went back and they had lost our name. We finally got pizza that was undercooked and chips that were stale. The food here is terrible. But the cherry on top was when I went to concierge to book a cabana for the entire day and she told me I was all set at the waterpark from 9 to 6 PM and we got to the waterpark around 11 to find out that she had never actually made our reservation. The explanation was that when she went to book it it was full, however, nobody bothered to email me or call me even though both of contact were on the reservation form. Would I believe it happened, Is that she put it aside and forgot about it. Because they are completely understaffed. It took us an hour to get açai bowls this morning. This place is terrible. The employees are nice enough but incompetent. I would not stay here again, might as well go to Disney because at least i get a ride at the end of the 2 hour wait.
Other people have had similar complaints. I have heard- this place is so slow. We should have just got an air bnb.
For what i paid to stay here for 2 rooms, i would expect better food and faster service. No one wants to spend a “luxury” resort vacation waiting in line for hours.

Just a horrible hotel. Gum on our furniture. Sinks don’t drain. Guests smoking in rooms. 2hr wait for terrible food. Couldn’t get into our room u til 6pm. Children screaming everywhere. Paper thin walls.

Resort doesn’t have a beach, need to take 20 min ferry. Rooms need a good FaceTime Lift, food was horrible especially in restaurant Cuts( not fresh, cooking oil probably was changed last time a month or two ago)smelly and taste bad. All the activities like Blue water and Culebra just a gimmick and a total ripoff. Never had such a bad experience. Very disappointed. Will never go again.

I took my daughter here for winter break and at first glance it’s incredible. The views and architecture are beautiful but once you scratch the surface all the cracks appear. Arrived at 11pm and our door lock was broken, two new installed locks and four bad sets of keys we finally got in. The first day we went to the waterpark where we waited 80 mins at the Oasis Grill for a burger. There were 2 people working - one bartending, one gilling, and no one serving. We all stood there helpless as no one bothered to serve our food that was cooked but not served. The second day, the resort fills up and no one at the hotel is prepared. The trashcans are overflowing, there are cockroaches floating around the pools, the toilets in the women’s bathroom at the water park overflow all over the floor, the funicular “tram” gets stuck halfway up the hill, the bars are backed up 20 deep, and the towel guy won’t give you more than one towel to put on a wet chair after a rainstorm soaks everything.

This place needs new ownership because it’s horribly run and a huge insurance liability . Putting all the aforementioned issues aside, i saw three kids slip on the pool deck and hit their heads on the stone pavers and a baby almost fall to its death on an excessively steep staircase on the ferry to Palomino Island.

When you have a resort this big, you need to be fully staffed (with people who have been there more than 3 days), who know what they are doing, where things are in the hotel, when things open, and how to resolve problems.

If you want to be a 2 or 3 star resort, keep it up but if you want to charge the prices you are charging and get businesses to hold their conventions here, please step it up. I feel like i’m trapped on a cruise ship and can’t wait to get to port.

Ii

I am staying here now. Despite the high price tag, the resort does not have enough basic amenities for the guests. Last night, none of the dining venues on the resort were available for dinner with less than an hour wait. Breakfast was a 30 minute wait everywhere. As I write this, I am at the water park, where the only seats are next to a man setting up speakers. He tells me that the music will be so loud that I will need to move.

I understand that a resort may busy, but this could be mitigated by hiring staff.